Fuck the future

I look to people to much for my happiness, my self-esteem is rock bottom and I need others happiness to justify my own, I give and give and barely receive anything back, and when I do get something, I put myself through an immense guilt trip, I don’t know why, I guess I’m just that good of a person.

I’m starting to hate myself all over again for being a nice guy and not asking for what I want, it’s better to give than receive, but when you only give when do you receive?

I’ve been less than a man for far to long, men ask for what they want or take it, not beg for it, I’m gonna ask for a raise, I’m gonna hit the pavement and get a better job, I’m going to have the relationship I deserve, I’m gonna enjoy the ride I pay for, I’m going to enjoy the present, Fuck anything in my way.